Not my fault. |
Well, fooled you! I'm back in Portland, back at the temp agency, back to wondering what the hell I am going to do with my life. If my masters year was supposed to help me figure out what my future plans are, I might need to look into a refund of some sort. I learned I still love history and all the reading, research and writing that goes along with that, but I don't know if I can commit my life to a system that seems unsustainable and rapidly degenerative. Academia costs too much for too little measurable result, and I am living proof of that. So I don't know. A PhD would be fun and fulfilling in the same way that my masters was, but if I'm already swimming in debt and overqualified to do any of the negligible work that's available out there, I really don't want to add doctoral baggage to that load.
I started this blog to record my year abroad and all of the experiences that accompanied moving halfway across the world and away from everybody I've ever known. I guess I kind of whiffed it at the end there, but really, I just spent the last two months writing my dissertation and bitching to everyone who had the misfortune to ask me how I was doing. Really, you all should consider yourselves lucky. You were at least spared that.
I think this makes me a hero. You're welcome, citizenry.
Being back in the States has been equally difficult, at times. I haven't wanted to write because sometimes I'm so afraid and so angry about what my options have become here that if I start expressing it, I just won't stop. I worry about my own chances of having a satisfying life here, and I worry that my experiences are symptomatic of a more widespread breakdown. I just can't help wondering...where are we going to find ourselves as a society in thirty years?
But that's too depressing. Let's end this thing on an upside...I'm sure I can find one somewhere...wait for it...no, that's a candy wrapper...AHA!
This is currently my absolute favorite website. Sorry, New York Times. This also probably more accurately describes my mental state and prospects than anything written above.
Well, it's been real. Friends, lovers, international countrymen, I wish you godspeed and good luck. Signing off Scottish style...
Cheery Bye!