I'm actually beginning to be frightened by my own pysche

So, this post was supposed to go like this:

"Big news, dear readers! I'm a little nervous to even say it, and so doing might result in the coming of a second Ice Age, and I take full responsibility if that does, in fact, occur, but...spring seems to have arrived in Edinburgh!"

Then I was going to post these pictures:

And then I was going to talk about people playing footie and rugger (I swear, that's how they say it here) in the park, and all the robins hopping about eating worms, and sitting in the sun so that my blood gradually warms up into a human percolation of sweet springtimey goodness. It was going to be all optimistic and shit up in here.

Like I said, that was the plan. I was thinking about it, mulling things over in my mind.

AND THEN I WOKE UP AND THIS HAD FUCKING HAPPENED:

Obviously, it was because I was getting sassy with the universe. Mother frickin' Nature was all, "So getting stranded three different times due to inclement weather this winter wasn't enough for you? You really still think you have any clue about my seasonal cycle? Do you? Yeah? WELL STICK THIS IN YOUR CRAW."

So okay, Mother Nature/God/the Universe, I get it: I am a powerless pawn in your giant hand. I give up on hope. I have no say. But I do want you to consider that when my friends and family want to kill me because I've been sitting on the couch in my sweatpants for three months moaning about how it isn't my fault that I can't find a job/wash my hair because I'm a pawn, they are going to blame you. And that is going to hurt your feelings.

So THERE.