Gonna go hang with the French for a while, you know, eat some brie

Chers,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I won't be posting for the next week, because I'll be travelling. I mean, it's not like anyone would notice that, but I just thought I'd let my two loyal readers in Khazackstan know so that they don't worry about me. Even though no one else will. God, sometimes I think I could die in my room and no one would find me until the smell of my corpse overpowered the smell of the mold growing in the walls. Why? Whyyyyyyyy--

Ahem. Let's try this again.

Chers,

I am going to France tomorrow! Since I will be appropriately taking advantage of every cultural opportunity on offer, I won't be posting until I get back, but then I will have some great pictures of my week in the City of Lights! I am really excited to go back to Paris--the first time I went, it was also my first time abroad, ever, and I was terrified to do anything wrong. Like speak. Or go outside. But this time around, I've already spent seven months making an ass out of myself in a francophilic European society, and I have learned a very important mantra to be used during times of cultural stress and confusion. Find your center and repeat after me:

"All y'all can just go fuck yourselves."

See? Don't you feel calmer already?

Also, the girl I'm travelling with is fluent in French, which means I get to just hang back and enjoy the ride/wine she will order for us. Yay! I'm looking forward to picnics in the gardens, walks along the Seine, a birthday celebration under the Eiffel Tower, and an extra-special side trip to Belgium, the land of chocloate, beer and neglected 18th century revolutions. Ça ira!

So that's the sitch, folks. I'll be back next Tuesday with stories to tell and pictures to share.

A tout a l'heure!