Not that kind of wizard stick

So after what would be termed in the local vernacular "an absolute shite weekend" (the "shite" is pronounced like kite. If it helps to sing to yourself, "Let's go fly a shite," that is an acceptable pneumonic device), I needed some comforting. I needed to salve my broken spirit. Short of a ticket for one free re-entrance to the mythical womb, I needed to go somewhere warm and dark and slightly unnervingly sticky.

I needed, in short, a movie theater.

Lucky for me, they have those in Scotland! I know, right, quel surprise! And before you ask, no--the movie is not shown on a projection screen made by stacking sheep 10x12 like a Connect Four board. Jeez, people. Travel a little, why not.

And, doubly lucky, what happened to be showing in this totally modern, first world entertainment venue? ONLY THE CINEMATIC EVENT OF OUR TIME---

Not seen in this picture: the bacon sandwich that I ate in lieu of popcorn inside the theater.I told you I needed comforting.

It was, in a word, epic. And maaaaaybe a little bit like the world's longest, most awkward wilderness first date. But that's not the point. I cannot WAIT for next July!

Now it's back to the grindstone, producing papers and presentations at warp speed in a vain attempt to finally discover the proper ratio of panic-stricken haste toacceptable quality of work. Eep.

Update #1: My father has apparently read this newest entry and informs me that "'pnuemonic' I believe, is a phobia about catching pneumonia or something (which you probably have). 'Mnemonic' however, is the word you were looking for to describe a memory aid. Just letting you know that I'm paying attention." To which I reply, my brain is a FONT of creative ENERGY, and not a goddam dictionary.

Update #2: Walking home from the library, I came across a passle of men playing football--American football, helmets and all. This was apparently too much for the natives, many of whom stood around, pointing and taking pictures. Scotland--really? Just because it's called "American football," for lack of a more convenient singular name, does not mean it should be unknown outside of that country...or does it? In light of looming national holiday, please discuss.